Final Fantasy XI (FFXI) Ballista


I’m sure that many people already know of the infamous forum troll Alhanalem—who I refer to as Abraham due to my random surges of dyslexia.  In a nutshell, he’s practically another self-righteous NA player who claims to know the dynamics of Ballista but is actually as ignorant and clueless as the rest of the pack.  Regarding Ballista, ignorance is not bliss, my friend.  It only makes you a complete dumbass.

Evv and I happened to run into this joker on Undine (test server) roughly around the time when the trial version of Legion was introduced.  Considering the hundreds and even thousands of times that he trolled Ballista threads on public forums, we had a reasonable idea of how much of a joker this guy was, but Jesus Christ, his stupidity far exceeded both our expectations.

This began with Abraham seducing random people into playing uncap in Diorama.  No surprise there, since most outbreaks of arguments originate from the uncap scene.  Anyway, Evv and I were being modest and complimented his knowledge of Ballista, but the conversation took a sharp turn as soon as he talked about the balance of the game.  No surprise there, since most uncap players complain about such petty issues.  He mentioned something about SMN being weak.  I do agree that SMN is a relatively weak job compared to the other mages, but his complaints mortified and mutilated the job into something beyond pathetic.  Truly, that is not the case.  As a heads up, Evv did most of the talking while I took the role of a troll.  No surprise there, since I’m literally a troll—green skinned, Jewish nose, warts all over, and a spiked club in hand.

For whatever reason, he claims that using Revitalizers back to back is a ‘cheating’ and adamantly rejects any new Ballista concepts—this case being ‘hyper’—implying that he knows all there is to know about Ballista.  “ive played hundreds of matches of ballista and ive never heard of this,” he remarks.  Simply because he has played hundreds of games doesn’t automatically suggest that he knows everything about Ballista.  The blend of his ignorance and stubbornness amuses me.  He squirms to deny that ‘hyper’, which involves quarrying, is ‘cheating’ when quarrying is actually part of the game.  “the rest of the game doesn’t play like you then,” he says.  Well, I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Actually, maybe I could have, but regardless, his implication appears to be that everyone else plays properly and by the rules while we, on the other hand, ‘cheat’.  He then continues to explain his logic of why ‘hyper’ is ‘cheating’ by proposing the premise that SE doesn’t know about this:

Since SE probably wrote the programming script for quarrying, I would assume that they would know about the mechanics behind quarrying.  I can almost guarantee, however, that players being able to decode and abuse those quarrying mechanics was not their intention.  After all, ‘hyper’ is technically a ‘handicap’.  Somehow, making strategic use of quarrying mechanics is apparently cheating.  Let’s keep in mind that he claims that SE doesn’t know about ‘hyper’.  I’ll come back to it, but for now, let’s carry on.

And he still continues to label ‘hyper’ as ‘cheating’.  ‘Hyper’ certainly requires skill to execute.  It requires a player to find a balance between quarrying and fighting and more importantly knowing how to quarrying without losing power.  If a player simply sits back and quarries, he would only weaken the team’s damage output.  Of course, this goes into deeper strategic detail, but that’s a topic beyond the scope of this discussion.  Adaptation is definitely a requirement to become more skilled in Ballista.  Before this whole spiel, he lectured us that we needed to adapt to the new level cap, but he hypocritically refuses even to accept the notion of ‘hyper’—let alone adapt to it.

When we first realized that the JP have been abusing ‘hyper’, we also had to adapt to the new style of play, whether we liked it or not.  Frankly, most of us were against it simply because it nullified much of the effective strategies that exhibited so-called ‘true skill’ before.  We wouldn’t mind if SE removed ‘hyper’ from Ballista, but they wouldn’t care about Ballista either way.

Now, here comes the golden part.  This Abraham kid claims the following:

What?  SE said that the losing team gets Revitalizers easier?  When and where did they say that?  This guy just keeps pulling shit out of his ass, and even assuming that SE did make such an announcement, they should be fully aware that we’re ‘cheating’.  Please, LM-17 all of us now, SE.  We’ve been ‘cheating’ the whole time by quarrying Revitalizers.

But what?  Didn’t Abraham say something about SE not knowing about ‘hyper’?  Let’s do a double take on that:

So, he initially claims that “SE does not know about this” and that “if they knew about it, they’d change it.”  Shortly after, he contradicts his earlier statement by saying that SE announced that the losing team has a higher likelihood of quarrying Revitalizers.  I thought that I was guaranteed something but was swindled.  Swindled, I say.  If SE doesn’t know about this, how could they make such announcement?  Holy Jesus, mind = blown.  This kid seems to have an endless supply of bullshit.  It’s hilarious that the public deem him as a credible figure, but in actuality, he makes false claims solely to benefit himself in an unfavorable discussion.

His downfall is essentially his ignorance and stubbornness, unwilling to adapt to the new form of Ballista.  Most NA players share the same attributes, so unless they open their minds to new ideas, they’ll—well—be like this kid.  Trust me, it’s not a happy position to be in.  Anyway, the bottom line is that regarding Ballista, ignorance is not bliss.  It only makes you a complete dumbass.  Like Abraham.  Not Lincoln.  Or any Emancipation Proclamation jazz.

3 responses

  1. Teishi


    Wow lol

    I’d almost feel bad for the guy but you two proved he’s just full of shit. What a fucking joke.

    April 29, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    • V

      Evv steamrolled him.

      April 29, 2012 at 7:52 pm

  2. Evviva

    I was pretty irritated lol

    April 29, 2012 at 7:59 pm

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