It May Be Gay, but I Like Twilight
I remember when I first laid eyes on the fashionable Twilight Helm, I flipped out and immediately became obsessed with its stunning good looks. Stats come after style. Of course, I tried my best (not really) to complete the prerequisite bosses in order to fight Shinryu, but due to my lack of experience and knowledge of the new Abyssea world, as well as the incompetence and unreliability of random Jueno shouts, I admit that I didn’t get very far—if at all.
Thankfully, some “Emissaries of God” descended from a heavenly place commonly known as Fenrir. Well, it’s not exactly so heavenly, but let’s just go with it. With their divine powers, Evv and Aya—err—all right, this is getting too cheesy. Anyway, they basically helped us Abyssea weaklings complete the prerequisites to Shinryu. They didn’t do all the work, though. I was leeching—I mean, owning—like a boss with my almighty Lv78, semi-naked, Kirin Osode BRD. We can’t forget Pik’s Lv75 beast NIN (was that an NQ AF1 body?) and T’s Lv80 god THF. In fact, we were so pimping that we all had turbans on. Turban Squad. Yeah, Evv and Aya obviously had no chance of accomplishing anything in Abyssea without us.
It’s nice to have an Abyssea-on-the-side addition to our Ballista LS. We were able to collect a few trophies to have a few attempts at getting a pair of VIT+2 Kokugetsu Haidates, which are currently the best leg equipment for MNK60. With our combined turban forces, we had no trouble in Abyssea. At all. I think. Well, perhaps once or twice. Maybe three times. Or even four. Something like that. You get the picture.
The best shit always happens to me, though. Who said that BRDs can’t tank? They can. Just not very effectively. But if anyone sees me with my party flag up on BRD, I would be more than happy to be the main tank. Believe me, I have years of experience.
Finally, after sacrificing food, sleep, bathroom breaks, alcohol, drugs, and unprotected sex and putting forth seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and—yes—even years of hard labor, we—or at least I—was privileged to fight the biggest faggot in the world, commonly known as Shinryu. After countless brews—well, maybe around 8 or 9, so it wasn’t really “countless”—that piece of shit still didn’t drop his helm. Hearing my complaints several times over, my friends were supportive as always.
Even after proc’ing blue or whatever ya’ll call it, I still continued to get shit drops repetitively. Evv continued to video record every Shinryu fight in hopes to upload and title it “V’s Moment of Glory” after the Twilight Helm dropped. Well, it never did, so all of those videos can be titled “V’s Moment of Shit” now. I’m QQ’ing.
It was inevitable that I would run out of cruor for brews (which I did), so I had to leech the helm from other groups. After sitting in the claustrophobic Shinryu zone for seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and—yes—even years, a group took me in for the boss fight. I had to slap on my NQ AF3 body and other gear to cover up my gimpness, but it was no use. As soon as the battle started, they almost immediately realized that I was a total noob. Unfortunately for them, I was already in the heat of battle against the Worm King. Worm. But thankfully, I was able to proc that blue shit by sheer chance. Then, the THF in the party was just chilling until we got to Treasure Hunter 8 or 9. Needless to say, I was dead. But I said it anyway. The magic happened after Shinryu died. The Twilight Helm dropped. About time, mother fucker. I had to lot that shit, but knowing my luck, I lost the lot and had to buy the helm off the guy for 500k. Fuck that. FUCK that. But it was coo. I finally got my Twilight Helm and quickly lost count of how many times I had an orgasm whacking off to it.
It’s about time that I quit Abyssea now.
But on the real, I must give a special thanks to Evv and Aya. Homies for life, k.